Penelope 2 and 1/2

Just ask Penelope and she will let you know she is "two-ah end a hafe-ah". She is growing like a weed and making the transition from toddler to child in leaps and bounds. Literally. He favorite thing in the world is running with jumping being a close second. She is all about her running shoes and begs for me to take her jogging. We live on a busy street and she sees lots of runners. Heaven knows she didn't learn it from me. I do enjoy our jogs together though.

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She had her 2 1/2 check up in June. The doctor was super impressed with her speech skills. She will talk your ear off. There is nothing more hilarious than hearing babies say big phrases. Like "Oh shoot Mommy! I forgot to take back my libary books!". When she combines three or more sentences in a row it always catches me off guard and makes me laugh. I was bothering her the other day and she said "STOP! Look at me. You no do dat ever again or I gunna put you in time out." She was serious too. I love they was she talks and the cute little learning English phrases are slipping away. I wish I had written them down. 

She always calls herself "me". "No, me do dat (that)!"

For a long time, she would get confused and call everyone else me also. She used to say "I love me (you)!". It always made us giggle but now she has it down. 

Some favorite words and phrases

-slippy cup (sippy cup)

-Me Justin Sinner 

-pellopee (Penelope)

-putting baby in front of people's names. Baby Jackson, baby daddy, baby Margie. 

-hip-ups (hiccups)

-heartbeaps (heartbeats)

She is a handful and always full of energy. There was a lady at the park when I was 41 weeks pregnant with Jackson. Her kids were like 2 bumps on a log. The boy was a little older than Penelope but had clearly directed his moter skill efforts in places other than running. As I waddled, Penelope ran, non-stop for the next 45 mins. The mother was clearing watching us the whole time and finally piped up "Is she always this....active?". I said always. She is either running or sleeping. She looked a little horrified.

Penelope is so kind and gracious. She will come downstairs after a nap and ask "Mommy clean the living room?" I reply "Yes, I cleaned the living room". She smiles very big and yells "Oh! Fank you mommy! Fank you for cleaning my living room!" This happens when I make do her laundry, help her put on her shoes, or feed her. Which happens to be about ever 45 mins all day long. That girl can eat. I guess if you are constantly running it's okay to eat 4 boiled eggs and 4 pieces of bacon for your first breakfast.

She is also very kind and loving. She wants to help little kinds do stuff. She always wants to teach people things. Unfortunately, she is very physical and forcing a little babies head the way she want it to go is rarely appreciated. She plays well with big kids though because she never cares if she falls or gets hurt.

Penelope is extremely independent. She wants to do everything herself. She is brave. We do lots of affirmations in our house. I am patient. I am brave. I am kind. I am a good helper. I am thankful. I make her say these things when she is having trouble acting appropriately. It's cool to see how these are shaping how she deals with new situations. If something is scary she will let me know she is scarred. I tell her it's okay to be scarred. She usually sits there for a minute and then comes back and say "No Mommy, I wanna try it. I brave. I no scarred". She loves to be brave and be a good helper. She hates to be patient. She is determined. If it's in her mind she will do it unless you can persuade her with some additional information that would make changing her idea worth her while. Most of the time, my arguments fall flat and she will do it the way she wants. If she receives too many suggestions about how to do something, she will always go back to her original thought.

I think she is just the neatest. She is so wonderful and is growing into such a great little lady. I was talking with my mom about how all the things that are most difficult about her also her strengths. She will be a force to the reckoned with when she is a fully functioning adult. Until then, I will cuddle her when she cries,try and keep up with her when she runs, take all the hugs and kisses I can get.

Memorial Day 2012

*July 2012 I found this post ready to go but guess I never published it. Here is something we did a couple years ago.*

May 28th 2012
Everything is more fun with a baby! Okay, maybe not long car rides, church, extensive graduation ceremonies, trying to make dinner at a decent hour, taking a shower, business meetings, camping…So, basically most things are less fun with a baby but holidays are not one of those things. In fact, even a semi-small holiday can be so exciting when seen through new eyes.

This year Memorial Day was a little different for me. While I have had numerous family members serve in the military, those times are now the things of legends.  I was never directly affected by it and I have never been a part of the culture. Days like these are very abstract to me. Thank you, ambiguous, unknown, faceless soldiers, for fighting for my freedom. It’s not that I’m not grateful. It’s just not something I have thought a lot about before. So, why is this year different? My sister Aubrey just married a Marine and that’s weird. Now that soldier has a face, he has a family and I am part of it. Now when he gets deployed, I will worry and pray till he is home. Now when the news talks about Marines, I will listen. Now, I am a part of this strange culture that I still don’t understand. Of course, I am still on the outskirts of it and its only just starting but I was a little more thoughtful and a little more grateful for all those who have served our country. This year was not all about the cookout for me and I hope I can teach Penelope to see what I am beginning to see.

Bathing Beauty

Aubrey is soo tired of the paparazzi 

Chad and Aubrey came back from their honeymoon and were there to celebrate the day with us. It was great to be together as family and friends. We had the traditional cookout and all the fixings, including Mom’s homemade potato salad. We don’t have a pool but we do have a hill, black plastic, and a sprinkler. Yes my friends, a giant slip and slide of epic proportions. We did this last year for the fourth of July and it was a hit. We learned that the more clothes the better, which explains our glamorous attire.

We used a different part of the hill this time with less than spectacular results. You had two choices: Fly off the slip and slide halfway down the hill and shred you legs with grass or make it all the way down and pray you did not die when you hit the fence. I use the word choice loosely, it was kind of like the first time you go bowling. You know the laws of physics are totally dictating the outcome but you are still getting gutter balls.  Chad came to the rescue by padding the fence with his VMI “hay” or mattress and bedding. It saved us more than once, although on the last time down Hannah managed to avoid it and hit the fence dead on. She takes after her mother whose goal is always to “make it” to the fence. AKA: Hitting her shoulder so hard it completely reversed the weeks of chiropractic appointments she had just completed. Awesome Mom.  In our family, it’s just not a successful event if no one goes home wounded. The number of wounds was probably higher due to the fact that Justin’s goal was to tackle everyone down the slide at least 10 times. I believe he exceeded his goal. We all settled down afterward for some TV and a fistful of extra strength Tylenol.

Slip and slides require all participants to be at the peak of physical fitness and wear really tight shirts 

Penelope is not quite ready for daredevil status so we parked her with recovering chemo patient and she got some time in the kiddie pool. We forgot to pick up some little swimmers diapers for her so she had to go commando under her swimsuit. It was fine, except for when Dad was holding her and she peed on him.

 We finished off the day with a fireworks and sparklers. Penelope thought they were pretty cool. I was expecting her to be scared but nope she was full of wonder.

Jackson Ray's Story

It has been 2 months since Jackson was born. I can’t believe it’s been 2 months. Why does childhood fly but laundry take a lifetime? He is changing so much day by day and all these little details are already slipping away. I wanted to share our story of how this little guy came into the world before I forget. It didn't

turn out like I dreamed but it was wonderful. Jackson is a very dear name to Justin. It is his special nickname from his grandpa. Raymond is his other grandfather’s name. Because this is the currently the only grandchild who will carry on the Skinner name, it was important for us that his name remind him of who he came from. Jackson means God is gracious and Ray means grace. I had hoped that at the end this delivery I would be able to say God truly is gracious because He gave me what I wanted. This was not in the plan.

I prepared from the second I got home from the hospital with Penelope for a VBAC. I did not get the labor and delivery I wanted with her. In fact, some of the worst experiences of my life came out of that induction. Pitocin was terrible. Having your baby go in to distress is terrifying. Being secluded in a recovery room from everyone you love, while you shake so much you bite your tongue and punch yourself is a nightmare. I wanted so badly for this time to be different.

So, I worked. Diligently. I researched everything. I watched the documentaries. I read the books. I devoured blogs and forums with VBAC success stories. I reviewed what happened last time and how I got there. I waited the recommended amount of time between pregnancies. I game planned with my doctors. I knew the risks and rewards. I understood what the statistics “really” meant. I studied hypnobirthing. I took every bit of advice. I followed every recommendation. I was ready and this time everything was going to go as planned.

Or not. Flash forward, I am 41 ½ weeks. Everything with the baby is perfect except for the fact that I am not even close to going into labor. Like really, nothing. Not dilated. Not effaced. Nothing.  My midwife suggests we try a Foley bulb induction. No medication. No risk. It works or it doesn’t.  I was so excited to not just have to go straight into a C-section.

April 15^th, we head to the hospital. After a flat tire and dropping Penelope off at my mom’s house, we are running a little late and just miss the midwife. Lucky for me, it takes most of the time we have to wait for her to get back from the office to find a vein for my IV. I was born without veins. They miss one, they blow one, and then finally get one at a super weird angle, sitting on top of my wrist bone. MMMmm yummy. The midwife makes it back and she gets the Foley bulb inserted. It works by mimicking the weight of the baby’s head, causing dilation. If it works, it will get me to a 3-4. I came in dilated 1 1/2cm so there is a lot of wiggling and stretching to get everything set up. Then, I just have to wait for 12 hours.

Trying to get my fluids before surgery. Not only was my IV difficult to insert it had the bonus of not working very well. 

The nurse for the evening shift comes in and introduces herself as Stephanie. She was delightful and apparently somewhat of a rule breaker. The midwife came to check on me late in the evening and I was having pain but still no contractions. From what I read, most of the time, the Foley bulb works quickly. After 6 hours with no contractions, I am praying that I am at least going through all this pain for something. The best thing is for it to fall out on its own. Stephanie comes in to do some monitoring and we get to talking. Justin and I tell her all about the things that we hated about our last experience. When Justin tells her how scary and terrible it was to not be allowed in the recovery room, she gets mad. She tells us that unless I was in an unstable condition, dad and baby are both allowed in the recovery room. She told us she helped write the policy and that some nurses don’t like it so they keep everyone out as long as they can. She talked to me a little more about the type of birthing experience I wanted. And then she left me alone to get some rest.

After the 12 hours were up, Stephanie came back in to take out the bulb since it had, unfortunately, not fallen out. She told me to get some sleep and asked if there was anything she could get me. I was not really supposed to eat anything heavy because of the prospect of a c-section in the morning. I told her I was starving and was having a difficult time sleeping. I wanted some jello or juice. Stephanie offered to go get me something to eat from the cafeteria, even though it was closed. I told her about being gluten free and she went to see if she could find a little snack. It was 2am at this point. She returns like an angel from food heaven! Meat and cheese, gluten free crackers and pretzels, and tons of fruit. She said “I didn’t know what you liked so I just grabbed everything I could find that was gluten free”. I ate till I was full and then slept so hard.

My hero and sidekick

The next morning, I was awakened by my new nurse Ann. She was extremely kind and warm, exactly how a nurse ought to be. The midwife comes in with Dr. Thompson, the OB who is overseeing my VBAC. They are disappointed that I slept so well and they check my progress. I am almost dilated to a 2, almost, and still less than 20% effaced. The midwife tells me that unfortunately inserting the foley bulb is probably what caused me to get to a 2. They tell me I can go home and wait to see if anything happens and make me aware of the stillborn risks now that I am 42 weeks along. The other option is to do an elective c-section. I am so tired of being pregnant. I am so sad that I spent the night away from Penelope. I do a quick head and heart check and then look at Justin. He tells me it is whatever I want. I know the stillborn rate is low and it is rare but they don’t know why it happens and I can’t take that risk just to try for a VBAC that may end in a c-section anyway. I decided to go forward with a c-section. After everyone leaves, Justin asks me if I am really okay with this. I smile and say “I am just not going to emotionally deal with this yet. Is that okay?”. We agree to just enjoy the day our son comes no matter how he gets here.

Penelope made a bear for Jackson. She came in shouting "Happy Birthday baby Jackson!"

The midwife and Ann tell me that they will make sure that, if the baby is healthy, I get skin to skin and be able to nurse before the baby goes to the nursery. Justin asks if he can go to recovery with me and Ann tells him that she will be with us all the way and she will make sure he can come in. We are reunited with the anesthesiologist who did my epidural with Penelope. He tells me everything that will happen with my spinal block and lets me know they will give me something for the shaking this time.

It was a strange thing to walk into the OR and climb up on the table. I meet everyone, they are all wonderful and calm. They are funny and everyone has to stop talking because they are making me laugh while I am getting a spinal block. My blood pressure drops and I feel really horrible. It’s normal with the spinal block and he gives me something for it but it takes a minute to take full effect. Thank goodness for my hypnobirthding practice as I was able to breathe through it. By the time I felt better, Justin was there and the baby removal was underway. I always call it a baby removal because that feels more accurate than delivery. It was wonderful; everyone explained what was happening through the whole surgery while keeping all the parts a patient does not want to hear quiet. They take him out and quickly show him to me. I see his profile and burst in the kind of tears only a new mother can cry. Jackson looks just like Justin. Jackson takes a minute to cry. He bursts out in a huge scream and everyone is relieved. Justin tells me later that the baby had the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck 3 times. The nurse rushed to clear Jackson’s nose and mouth so they can bring him to me. They help me lay him on my chest and nurse him. If you have to have your internal organs put back into their proper place and then have your stomach stitched back together, it helps to have a cuddly baby.

Together at last

After a while, they send Justin and the baby to the nursery to get him ready to come to my room. My teeth start to chatter from the spinal block so I clench them. This causes my arms to flap up and down like some kind of clumsy bird. I grab on to table but it only sends my shoulders into a samba. I don’t really know what a samba is but that’s what I imagine it would feel like if I was shoulder sambaing. I rotate between these 3 options because I can’t quite figure out which one gives me the most control over my body. My Doctor, who is slightly reminiscent of Mr. Magoo, leans over the curtain, flaps his arms and says “She’s flying away”. The anesthesiologist sees I am shaking and gives me something. While I am not the biggest of medicine, I have to say medicines administered intravenously are amazing. You can feel terrible and 30 seconds later you are wondering if you imagined it. It’s cool.

So happy to be a big sister

They wheel me to my room and I am and feeling good. I can feel a lot more of my body this time and I am not punching myself. Ann is with me and takes my vitals. We talk and laugh. My door is open and I don’t feel everyone thinks I am in grave danger. I hear Dr. Thompson in the hall saying “Come here. In there”. He dragged Justin out of the nursery to make sure he was allowed in to my room this time. They brought the baby in a few seconds later and we were a happy family. Jackson is born 8lbs 3oz and 21 inches long. While he is almost exactly the same size, Jackson is the complete opposite of Penelope. Dark and swarthy. His eyes barely opened his first few weeks of life. He is serious and sweet. His spirit is gentle and easy to be around. One of the nursing students turned out to be Kristen Gibbon’s! She said they loved when he was in the nursery because he was so sweet. I loved having someone I knew there taking care of him.

Calming down with mom

After Ann’s shift ends, Stephanie is back. She excitedly goes over everything with me and it so happy with the result. Apparently, when she took out the foley bulb she knew I was headed for a c-section. She gathered together everyone who would be working with me before she left and told them everything they needed to do to make me happy. I thought everyone was just reading my mind. No, Stephanie had arranged it all. She truly was an angel in scrubs.

I was so happy to see her. First night apart.

That night, Jackson kept spitting up a ton. Because I could not sit up fast enough to keep him from choking, the nurses kept him in nursery. When the pediatrician came the next morning, I told him I was concerned about the amount of spit up. He told me not to worry about it. It was just mucous from being a c-section baby. I was like I am pretty sure it is clostum but you are the doc. The spit up continues and the next day the pediatrician comes in and apologizes for dismissing my concern. He tells me the first day babies only need 7 drops of clostrum and I am producing like he has never seen. By this point, my milk has come in and my nursing super power is the talk of the nurses’ station. Because we are doing so well we get to leave early.

We were all a little sleepy

C-sections are not fun to recover from, physically or emotionally. This time was a little easier because I chose what happened. I had hoped that all my hard work in preparing for my perfect VBAC would cause God to bless me to have exactly what I wanted. When I found out Jackson meant God is gracious I thought “How perfect! I will be able to tell people how gracious God was in helping me have the birth I wanted”. I do not think c-sections are wrong and I don’t think women who choose to have them are “bad mothers” but it just was not what I wanted. I can truly say that God is gracious after this experience. I got everything I had wanted so desperately but was missing during Penelope’s birth. I had people care for me as a person, not just a patient and let me be fully in control of my choices. God is gracious. Motherhood is the greatest blessing and the greatest challenge I could ever imagine and I am totally in love with my little family. I am so grateful they were sent to me even though I am so unworthy of them. God truly is gracious. 

We are going on SAFARI!

I have lived in Virginia since 2006. My parents moved here in 2009. Touristically (it is a new word) speaking, they have attacked this state like small child in a candy store. Try everything and as fast a possible! They have gone everywhere! Lakes, random state parks, historical houses, landmarks, scenic parkways, educational villages, waterfalls, rivers, beaches, and towns that were influential in the building of our nation. My whole family has had these amazing experiences and I was in class or at work. My mom thinks I was there every time and is always shocked that I missed it. Well, I guess I have a degree in missing memorable family experiences.

I have wanted to go to the safari park the entire time I have lived here. They went and didn't even invite me.(Okay, they probably did but I don't remember it. Plus, it makes my story more tragic. So, indulged me.) I have asked to go for my birthday every single year I have been married. It never worked out. When my mother-in-law Margie was visiting and helping out with the baby, I mentioned it. She was astonished at the safari injustice in my life. Margie pulled the Mom card and convinced Justin that he wanted to take us on Saturday. We had had the most chaotic morning trying to get everyone dressed and in the car, which then, freaked out because it had the spare tire on. After a quick Google search to reassure us that the car was safe, we pushed along. Nothing was going to get in the way of us feeding exotic animals from the comfort of our car! 

We decided to get one bucket of food. Those guys are messy eaters because most on it is still in my car.

Penelope loved to feed the llamas. Jackson loved to sleep the entire time and had no idea he was inches away from a bison. Most 11 day olds have limited attention spans for bison. Justin was killing me the whole time. He was nervous laughing non-stop! 

We approached the camels. They are located behind a fence with a sign that reads "We steal and eat buckets. Feed us anyway.". Of course everyone was pulled up by the fence to feed them and, of course, they stole bucket after bucket and, of course, we thought we were different and all those other people were careless. Guess what? Those camels are STRONG and sneaky! They act like they are going to eat out of the bucket and then just straight up snatch it! Penelope and I were holding the bucket together and I screamed "He is too strong! HELP!". Luckily, Justin is super cheap and we spent way too much money on our bucket of food to lose it. He leans in to the back yelling "OH NO YOU DON'T, BUDDY!!!!" and wrenched the bucket out of his mouth. Our hero. The camel looked pretty defeated and that was extremely satisfying.

It was such a fun day! It was nice to get out with the whole family for the first time. 

This is where we live. Crazy beautiful!