Here we are less than 5 1/2 weeks from baby's due date! It's weird. In some ways I am such an emotional person and in others I am one of the most practical people you will ever meet.
For instance, when Justin and I were dating I was so in love and happy. I also told him that I could leave him at any second if I thought he was no longer good for me. I told him I knew it would be hard but I know that I could love someone else just as easily. So romantic! I am sure he felt warm, fuzzy, and secure in our relationship. He asked me not to leave him. I said we will see.
I feel like I am so not maternal at all. I think other people's babies are ugly all the time. I worry my kid will be ugly too. If I told you your baby is cute know I mean it. If I haven't....well putting a bigger hair bow on her lumpy probably still wont do it for me. I hope she grows out of that how being hideous thing. I like to feel the baby kick but most of the time I think "Why is there an alien inside of me?" or "I wish you would move you feet out of my lung".
I have no concerns about being a mother. I nannied for years, I am the oldest, and I am just general overconfident in my abilities. I know I will be more tired than I have ever been in my life. I know that teaching is a constant job. I know that I have no idea what I am getting into but neither does anyone else when they become a mom so it's okay.
I am excited for this little girl to get here. I love her already so I guess that is maternal enough. I was not really enamored with the whole dating thing, or wedding thing, and to follow suit pregnancy is nothing much to talk about. I just feel guilty when I talk to people about "how I'm doing/feeling". My response is always "Great!". They feel like I am lying and always try and get stuff out of me "Were you sick?" I have to explain that pregnancy is definitely not the hardest or annoying thing I have even had to go through. I was never sick, I just want candy more than normal, my hips hurt sometimes, I sleep just fine, I still wake up on my stomach most days, and overall unless baby is moving I forget I am pregnant. Right now though because we are in the large and in charge phase I can't breath or bend over and pick stuff up. I can't carry heavy things. I just find it so very annoying! Also, I hate waddling. I feel like I should just put on some flippers and start quaking. Then again, nothing to REALLY complain about. Other pregnant people have real things to complain about.
I feel like doing senior paper and body attack training was way worse.
Watch, labor is going to be a beast! Now labor I am emotional about. I am so stinking scared but I also know I can do it. Again, overly confident.
Well, till she get here and I think she is the most beautiful thing that ever came I will continue to be practical.
